Scribblings

What Am I Doing?

I don’t know.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

I wish I did.

I really really wish I did.

Because it looks like just about everyone else knows what they’re doing, and yet here I am still sitting on the sidelines, unsure.

I hate feeling like this because I know it’s stupid.

It’s stupid to compare myself to others and think that’s where I need to be.

It’s not healthy. And it’s pretty self centered when you think about it.

Quite literally, I’m torn in two at the moment.

My brain says one thing, and my heart says another.

The infamous third party would be other people. They say a lot of things.

It’s hard to listen nowadays.

Hard to know what’s worth paying attention to and what’s not.

I think that’s why I feel a physical connection to my earbuds.

They just help tune the pointless things out.

Help me focus.

I want a purpose. I want to know what I want to do.

And I want to be able to do it well.

I want to be able to go far with it and do whatever it is I’m here to do.

There’s just one problem.

I don’t know.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

I wish I did.

I really really wish I did.

But since I don’t I’m going to take action.

I’m going to read this book I have.

And I’m going to talk to this friend I have.

I’ll listen to some tunes too.

Write a few more thingamabobs most likely along the way.

And who knows.

Maybe then I’ll know what I’m doing.

If not I’ll just keep waiting.

 

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2 thoughts on “What Am I Doing?”

  1. Been there and done that. I did not read a good book or talk with a good friend and my choices were not real good. But thanks to some good contacts things did eventually turn out good. But I do know that I could have made much better decisions. So my 2 cents worth of advice would be; know when to remove the earbuds and when to plug back into them. Remember waiting is also an action. 🙂 Hang in there you have many years ahead of you.

    Liked by 1 person

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